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A Time to HealNechama Gottschalk, P'nai Or Tallahassee, FLLike most people and every Jew I know, I have struggled with the recent historical event we call the Holocaust. Growing up in a secular home, my Jewish education really began as a small child who was taken to the drive-in movie by her parents. The movie, Judgment at Nuremburg, was a shocking introduction to what it meant to be a Jew. Being a Jew and the Holocaust always seemed to be connected. As an adult, when I sought a spiritual outlet for what I was feeling inside, I turned to my tradition. As I learned about what it meant to be a Jew spiritually, I had to also look at my feelings concerning the Holocaust. The emotional residue was extensive: anger, fear, terror, hatred, distrust, insecurity, powerlessness, etc. Most books and movies on the subject left me mildly depressed for weeks. But slowly, through actively living a Jewish life and talking with others, I began to feel the lessening of this burden. Then, about 5 years ago, I started looking at how Yom Hashoah was expressed in both synagogues and civil ceremonies. The cadence of "never again, never again" echoed so much the sound of marching boots. Listening to an endless list of victims' names being read (as is done each year at the Florida capitol) leaves people open and raw, bleeding emotionally. Then, four years ago, my daughter was acting in the play, "I Never Saw Another Butterfly", and I needed to provide some balance to the intense emotions I was experiencing. Starting with poems from the book with the same name as the play, I created a ritual attended only by my two teenage daughters, then 14, their stepfather (born in Berlin who came to the U.S. in 1939), a close friend, and me. With the small group, we experienced a intimate sharing and healing experience. It was the first time my husband had ever spoken about these memories and feelings with my daughters. The following year, it became important to me to counteract the negative energy so many Holocaust commemorations create. I had attended a Shabbaton led by Reb Zalman several months earlier and was left with such a strong image of the interconnectedness of everything, I knew that the pain and hurt that the usual ceremonies created needed some kind of balancing. I decided to create a ritual to share with my chavurah. The experience was not the warm and intimate one I had experienced the year before with my family. Although most participants were positive, I was painfully aware of so many things I hadn't thought about going into the experience. We began by sharing stories (about a family member or family friend, if possible) to honor the victims. Everybody handles their emotions differently. One person needed to comment on each person's sharing. Another slipped into using RC counseling techniques. (Most people there were not familiar with RC.) Each person handled the intense emotions in his/her own way. I was panicked! I felt a tremendous responsibility and wondered if we would ever be able to move smoothly to the healing part of our ritual. We eventually finished the ritual, some finding healing; others not. I walked away saying to myself, "I'll never do that again." The next year (last year) found me developing a revised ritual with another member of the chavurah. I knew that we couldn't get too deeply into the emotions or we could get mired there and so, we approached that htmlect very carefully and we focused much more attention on the healing part. I know those who attended found it very healing. But, one person's feedback led me to believe that we approached the Holocaust connection a little too obscurely, at least for her. Since last year, I have thought quite a bit about whether I should facilitate the ritual again (with some modifications). My vision has gone beyond my small group and my concept of healing has expanded. For me, our healing (Jews, Germans, all peoples) from the effects of the Holocaust is an integral part of tikkun olam. I would like to see many groups focusing on healing during this period. I believe that we can balance the negative energy and even help those who don't recognize the healing options available to them, if we can put out enough healing energy. To heal from the Shoah is not to forget; to not heal is to help support the kind of world that allows this kind of episode to occur. If we don't heal, we can't bridge the abyss between us and them, whoever them may be at the time. It is time to slowly and cautiously build bridges. Only though this healing can we create a world that may bring the Messiah. If you are interested in doing a healing service with your group, please let me know. Let us coordinate our efforts. Also, I would like to share ideas on healing rituals for the Shoah. Please contact Nechama Gottschalk, . May each of us be blessed with refuah shleyma.
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