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"So, You Want to Start a Jewish Renewal Havurah_"

by Min Kantrowitz and Chana Andler

You've just come back from an incredible Jewish Renewal experience and really wish there was a group like that back home. Unfortunately, all that's available in your area is the "same-old, same-old" choices that leave you cold. So, you decide what you need to do is start your own Jewish Renewal group, giving yourself and other disenfranchised and dissatisfied Jews something that will really work for them.

Congratulations! We are delighted that you are excited about Renewal and interested in starting a group. But, before you rush off to get your flyers printed or send in your check for NJRC membership, we suggest you spend a few minutes making sure this is something you really want to do.

Step I: Be objective and realistic.
Make sure you understand that the wonderful Jewish Renewal experience you have had is NOT going to be what you have with this new group (at least, not for quite awhile). As one of the founders/leaders, you will be expected to "make the magic" (not just enjoy it); you may find that you "never really get to davven yourself" because you're the one who has to facilitate for everyone else. Running even a small group can be a huge logistical and administrative task, consuming hours of your time and energy each week in work that is rarely spiritually or emotionally rewarding. Is there a core group of equally capable and committed people who will each take on part of that load_ If not, you may be setting yourself up for a severe case of "Founder's Burnout." You need to realize that you're taking on a 2-5 year commitment, since that's about how long it takes for most groups to evolve into a stable form which can be maintained and sustained. Is that something you are willing to commit to_ If, after having objectively looked at the "realities" of being a group founder, you're still convinced it's what you want to do, you're ready to go on to the next step.

Step II: Set reasonable expectations.
One of most frustrating things about starting a havurah is thinking it's going to be easier (or faster or simpler or less expensive) than it turns out to be. We offer the following suggestions:

1. Start small. Don't try to do it all (holidays, Torah study, Friday and Saturday services, other programs/events) from the onset. Get some people together for a Shabbos potluck and some joyful song and prayer. Or start a Shabbos afternoon meditation/study and havdalah. Focus on new ways of relating---to text, to worship, to each other and on building real heart connections. Use this time to "grow" your collective skills and find out what practices speak to the group most directly, rather than worrying about attracting large numbers of people or doing it all.

2. Don't overextend yourself. As your group grows, you will come under increasing pressure to become "a full service shul" that can address everyone's needs. Trying to do so, especially in the first few years, will only make you crazy. Each new piece needs to be phased in, as the resources (and real interests) of the group allow, and "owned" by those who request it. If they're not willing to actively take it on and make it happen, you shouldn't either.

3. Build skills. Lay-led havurot require a higher degree of literacy from their members than rabbi-led groups. So, focus on learning together and developing each others' skills in davvening, singing, studying Torah, making commentary, leading programs and services, reading Hebrew. The sooner more of you are comfortable with the davvening and able to share the facilitator/leader role, the stronger (and richer) your group will be.

4. Encourage shared ownership. You may have started the havurah, but the sooner it's shared, the better. Find ways to get OUT of the leader role. Encourage others to host, to plan and lead events and services. Divide up the logistical and administrative tasks. Support people's growth by telling them you'll help them do it, rather than just doing it yourself. That way, the next time, they'll be able to do it alone.

5. Appreciate im-perfection. Foster a climate which values the sincere attempt, more than the perfect execution. Approach everything as an experiment and part of the learning process (including all the things that go "wrong"), rather than as a performance or a measure of a person's competence. We can't grow, if we don't try. And people won't try if they have to be perfect from the start.

6. Use existing resources. You don't have to re-create everything. Tap into the NJRC liturgy library for whatever we have. Great JR style siddurim are also available and can be purchased from a number of sources. Buy tapes to help you learn songs and prayer melodies. And take advantage of the resources of the mainstream Jewish community; take classes, attend programs, go to lectures and concerts. It doesn't have to be taught by a Jewish Renewal teacher to be interesting or useful.

7. Be thoughtful about importing Special Guests. Some fledgling havurot find an intense visit from an Aleph Pathfinder, a well known Rabbi, or an experienced lay leader to be the kind of inspirational 'glue' that brings their group together. Others, who may think that the key to success is to bring in one of the "big names" for a shabbaton, workshop, or concert, sometimes find that, even if they attract a large audience and get people turned on to Renewal, it may not translate into building group cohesion. So, unless you want to be in the event promotion business, you may choose to work on developing solid (and satisfying) local services and events first.

8. Nurture yourself. Building a havurah is a lot of work. There are endless tasks that need doing, whether to meet a current commitment or to help the group grow to the next level. Even if you enjoy doing some of these things, being responsible for everything rapidly gets old. Be sure to provide yourself with opportunities to be a participant and student, to receive as well as give.

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